Monday, 31 December 2012

Team aquired. Go time bitchez.

Oh yes. Oh yes indeed.

So. Trialled as demoman for a div 6 team. This in itself is not noteworthy. However, I have never played demo in 6s.

Two things became immediately apparent about div 6 in ETF2L.

1) I cant roll out
2) Neither can any other demos

I managed to fail quite literally every jump and arrive at mid at some kind of sub-glacial pace and remarkably the other demo was slower... How? I could have walked to mid faster than I jumped.

Is this some kind of next level strategy? The delayed glacial rollout?

Is it some kind of elaborate mind game?

Are they stopping to have cups of tea?

I dont even.

The next thing that I discovered is that whilst I am a truly awful demoman, most of the populous of div 6 is infinitley more stupid than I am bad.

Most of the scouts employed the wild +w tactic, and even my wildly off target pipes have a hard time not connecting with a target running in a straight line, directly from the front. Stomped idiot.

There is also some kind of fascination with everyone walking through one choke point. And dying to the same blatantly obvious sticky-trap. Not just once, not even twice, but three rounds in a row. How? Why? Do you hate life? Ya havin a giggle m8?

Whilst initially horrified by the terrible level of play, I found that even as a no xp demo who cant roll out, I have the ability to leap round the map, play like a ballet dancer on crack and generally not give a fuck. That whilst I killed myself twice on my own devious sticky traps, I managed to top-frag for the vast majority of games. I dont even.

I feel genuinley satisfied in yelling de_stroyed idiot into the mic repeatedly, because many of the inhabitants of this division truly are idiots and really did just get destroyed. I am genuinely excited to play with this new team. On this unwieldily class of doom. Safe in the knowledge that being atrociously bad is a requirement of this division and that wild plays are rewarded with clown_downs.

I think im gonna love this division. Oh yes. Oh yes indeed.


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