Xena. Warrior. Demoman.

I am not proud.

Frag nails

Sorry red for being a terrible person and not posting here erryday.
I will probably not change this.
Becasue im lazy and well yes.
But I have every intention to.

Now. down to the purpose of this post. Nails.
I have recently become obsessed with painting my nails.
Like. its actually an obsession.

Anyway, I noticed that my nail painting goes in waves with both my gaming and RL moods.

[Disclaimer]

PLZ ECUSE UGLY HANDS AND NAILS.
I have spent my lief TAKATAKAing on a keyboard and abusing my nails. I is not good with how to pretty nails :(

ANYWHO
Let us investigate this phenomenon:

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[Day 1] Outbreak

Whilst playing Path of Exile I was overtaken by a sudden urge to pretty my nails up. I have never experienced this feeling before. It was strange and confusing. 

We went on to finish Act II.

I attribute the nails for this success.

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 [Day 5] More symptoms

My first HC character in PoE died.

My nails reflect my sombre mood.

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[Day 10] FEELING HAPPY

I like rainbows. and pastels.

I also like it when I play well in TF2. 

Following a team win I painted my nails delicious colours.

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[Day 11] that was shortlived

I realised I had a terrible addiction to skyrim.

My nails reflect my inner self turmoil.

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[Day 15] FRAG TIME 

TF2 official time. TIME FOR SNAZZY NAILS.

I somehow managed to hit middies and still lose horribly.

Nails did not carry to glorious victory.

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[Day 20] Team breaks up

The TF2 team broke up.

It made me sad.

How am i going to yell about how fucking good I am? How can i make terrible frag videos?

My nails are upset by this turn of events.

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[28 days later] V-Day

Yep. Valentines day.
In Path of Exile you can get a beating heart impaled on a stick to show your love.
My nails express it with terribly drawn hearts in pastel colours.

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ASIDE:

It has recently come to my attention that many men harbour intense loves of nail polish and nails in general...
Evidence:


09:42 - business socks: awkward confession time
09:42 - business socks: i am subscribd to http://www.reddit.com/r/RedditLaqueristas/
09:42 - business socks: because i like to look at all the pretty things

that is all...

The beginning of my biography

10:22 p.m. - business socks: people often ask me
10:22 p.m. - business socks: why is tara called super freak
10:22 p.m. - business socks: and of course i dont really like to give away the story but they push and eventually i let them know
10:22 p.m. - business socks: tara isnt called super freak
10:22 p.m. - business socks: tara IS super freak
10:22 p.m. - business socks: and they never get this at first
10:22 p.m. - business socks: but slowly it dawns on them
10:22 p.m. - business socks: and it all makes sense
10:22 p.m. - business socks: and i always remember
10:22 p.m. - business socks: that look in a persons eye
10:23 p.m. - business socks: as they suddenly understand
10:23 p.m. - business socks: that terror

Baloonicorn insides

Some of the sicker readers of this blog have requested to see the insides of the poor baloonicorn cookies...

So for science i ate one.
I felt bad.
And yet it was so delicious.

R.I.P baloonicorn number 3. You were delicious.

Norfolk style...

SO. today I discovered this video.
I also discovered how true it is.
I love living in Norfolk...

Open it and play it loud...

http://youtu.be/nFBoeZm7-u4

Sittin on a hay bail in the middle of a field,
waitin for my dinner tatas already been peeled,
sittin in my garden with a mug of nice hot brew,
there is nothing better than a nice hot stew.

I like welly boots,
i like milking cows and sometimes even goats,
i cant read or spell or even write a note,
dont go out nowhere without my old ripped coat
without my coat

Cuttin trees down
and driving tractors
thats what i like thats what i like

Cuttin trees down
and driving tractors
thats what i like thats what i like
and thats just the way i like to live my life

We got Norfolk Style
Hey Inbred lady

Walking through the farmyard with my country boys behind me
we just cleaned our landrovers and now they are so shiny
we like homemade cider but dont like the taste of wine
we get pissed and do it all the time

My favourite thing is string
got a problem it can fix pretty much everything
i like digging holes which i can plant things in
i fix my barn roof with corrugated tin
corrugated tin

Cuttin trees down
and driving tractors
thats what i like thats what i like

Cuttin trees down
and driving tractors
thats what i like thats what i like
and thats just the way i like to live my life

We got Norfolk Style
Hey Inbred lady

I love a great big roast and love my brussel sprouts
gravy gravy lathered on without a doubt

im on a hunting trip shooting with the lads
we like killing things you must think we are mad
you know what im saying

We got Norfolk Style

Hey Inbred lady

Baloonicorn cookies

Everyday I'm reminded of how amazing the world is. But no day more so than second christmas.

Because the British postal system is glacial around christmas time my Christmas package from him didn't arrive till after new years, which suits me just fine! Prolonged christmas is just fine with me.

So, yes, i adore suprises at the best if times, and so when i saw the large box arrive on my doorstep I kinda picked it up and sqeeeeeeeled all the way to my bedroom where i tore the box to shreds to get at its contents...

Anywho, the box contained many amazing surprises and gifts but one thing more than any if the other things made me smile for hours!!!

The box in question came packaged in rainbow cardboard, which when opened displayed five baloonicorn cookies :3

Fir those of you unfamiliar with baloonicorns, load up the best game in the world, TF2, and look for the adorable pony baloons following people!

Omg omg ong omg omg.

I first of all couldnt believe that they had made it through the post relatively unscathed.

And more so that they had ever been made!

The baloonicorns suprises were not over just yet tho!

Oh no!

Upon biting into one it was revealed that they were pinyata cookies, housing mini m&ms within their delicious cookie exteriors.

:3 :3 :3 :3 :3

Just.
Perfect.

Product review: stormtrooper torch

So. Belated christmas presents are pretty awesome.

Always unexpected, and have the secondary effect of prolonging the joy of christmas into the new year.

So much like.

Now, im a huge sucker for presents at the best of times, dosent matter what it is, I just LOVE ripping paper off and seeing whats inside :D normally its like yay socks thanks, but this time, this time it was somthing pretty awesome.

A stormtrooper torch.

Anyone who knows me vaguely knows that I am the biggest fan-girl that starwars has ever seen, sporting a huge collection of memorabilia, toys and also 4 starwars tattoos.

Some call it strangely obsessive, I call it love.

So anyway, this stormtrooper torch pretty much made my week. Its like. All you could ever want and more.

Ignoring the fact that it took me more than an hour to get the battery pack screw out( probably more if a reflection if my inadequacy rather than the toys), it is pretty obvious that this toy is everything you could want and more...

Seriously. Want to make friends? buy it. Want your girlfriend to love you? Buy it. Want to be the coolest kid on the block? Buy it.

This review is in no way biassed and reflects a universally held truth that anything star wars is god-tier amazing.

Nothing like faggots for dinner

Out for dinner. I kid you not. Faggots on the menu.

U wot m8?

Im not entirely sure if that means something else in the UK but back in NZ it means something not so complimentary.

Apart from the initial shock of finding fags on the menu the meal was, actually, one of the best I have ever had.

Confirming here and now that faggots are delicious.

Football.

Ok. So there are many things in life that baffle me, broccoli, people who main spy, people who study law the list is pretty extensive, but right at the top of that list is football.

Some say its the sport of kings, but I say its a sport of non-evolved hominins.

I realise that the following will upset the staunchest of supporters, the ancient part of the brain associated with fighting becoming aroused by such hurtful words. For those feeling such impulses I recomend stopping now and searching the net for football highlights.

Football highlights is ofcourse a oxymoron.

But enough, on with it.

In addition to being baffling it can also be described as boring, ridiculous and downright bizzare.

Luckily I was located in the corporate box, where food and beer were plentiful, allowing me to observe the strange spectacle in comfort.

After almost an hour of watching I had deduced the following: meatheads run up and down a grassy pitch, kicking a ball seemingly at ramdom, small ginger kids in the crowd yell flavoursome and colourful abuse whilst a score of three is concidered outstanding.

A run in with one of the southport benched players during half time did little to improve my perceptions of either the sport or the players.

The exchange went as follows:
Him: ey luv let meh baey yer a drink ey?
Me: uhhh no thanks
Him: oeeerrrr but im un of theh southport players ehhhh
Me: sorry. Im taken and also not attracted to people who play ridiculous sports.
Him: ohhh comee neow luv, coem off eet.
Other players: huarh huarh huarh (midlands laugh) yer just gawt ahot down son huarh huarh huarh.

At the end of the day the experience was educational, I got a fair few laughs at the expense of the small but hilarious ginger kid in the crowd ( yer fooken playin wif yah dik in ya eyes aintchya mate? Coem offeet ya blimmin shrimp! ) but All in all, I think this may be the one thing about the UK that I never understand. Ever.

Whilst many, many people proclaim that football is exciting and thrilling, I am happy to stick to games on a computer. Games which are actually exciting.

Supporting evidense that i actually attended:
1) photo of the match
2) my unintrested football face

A very kewl gift :3

This afternoon I was chilling and talking with the medic on the ETF2L team that I have joined.
One thing led to another, and BAM, suddenly I was the new and proud owner of a Taimou signed medi-gun.

Most people would be like, psh, watevah, psh.
Who even is dat.
Psh.

But Taimou is kinda a big deal to me. Some would say hes somewhat like the medic equivelent of b4nny to me. Again... probably dosent make sense unless you were around when b4nny was in RAC / Tonberrys team mumbles. When I had a massive fan-girl moment. Ok. About 2 hours worth of fan-girling.

This one time, b4nny said I was ok, and I almost cried.
I wish I was kidding.

I cant explain it.
Even the mention of these players kinda sends me batty, its kinda how people who follow football go when their team that they support is bought up in conversation. I just kind of mist over and am like, yes, amazing, yes.
Cant tell you why... Just... omg omg omg omg omg omg omg.
I kinda have teh same reaction that 12year old girls do to one direction...
Its shameful.

Anyway... returning to the original point...
Taimou is one of my fave euro medics (probably the only EU medic that I think is badass). With my fan-girling continuing even with his ban.

So yes.
:DDDDDDDD
Today made me quite happeh!

Now to aquire b4nny, platinum and ruwin signed gear. Then I can die happy.

Goddamit red.

Today I delivered some of my steam based gifts to various gaming friends...
Most people replied with a simple 'thank-you' or :D <3
But not red.

I went away to consume my afternoons sausage roll and tea, and came back to this:

WTF? 6 new invites / comments???
I was pretty excited thinking that erryone had been awesome and left nice christmas and new year messages on my profile page...
How very, very wrong I was...

Click it.
6 new gifts.
Wat.

Ok.
Click to open.

As it turns out, Red decided that the appropriate response to such a gift would be to promptly purchase every goddam. butterfly / glitter / pony / unicorn / rat / death / graveyard related game in the universe.

Well 6 of them anyway.
And send them all with the same ridiculous message:

The graveyard particulary confused me as it didnt exactly fit with any other theme present in the set.

This seemed like a game title that was blatantly obvious. All rats are evil. All rats are bad. I cant even begin to fathom how they have made a game about this.

Ok. So. For my birthday Red got me some other ridiculous horse game and project run-way. Despite some initial resistance to project-runway I have come to cherish and love the game. So im pretty excited for this. Unicorns and rainbows. awww ye. 

How is this a thing that exists?

If the above thing is dubious in its ability to qualify as a game, I am truly at a loss as to how this could even have been conceptualised. 

Fruit. Flora. I. Dont. Even

So anyway. 

Uhh

Thanks Red. 

You never cease to amuse and amaze me with your ability to find the most ridiculous and bizzare games.

If only the graveyard had multiplayer. Could totes jam that all night together. 

Game reviews of each of these outstanding games to follow.

Happy new year europe

The best thing about living halfway around the world is that I now get two new years xD

Last night alot was drunk with the airforce neighbours, TF2 was played and the new year was bought in by some pretty outstanding fireworks.

I havent been here long enough to develop long sentimental posts to friends and teammates so instead ill just say this:

GLHF in 2013.
Its a year to go big or go home.

Walkin in a winter wonderland

Today I encountered the amazingness that is the British countryside.
And learnt that archaeology truly is all around us.

At 2ish in the afternoon it was decided that I might go for a lovely little wander around the fields and tracks near the house. I have not previously done so due to:

1) Christmas
2) Rain
3) Being forced to spend that time drinking cups of tea

For once it was actually not pissing down, and some kind of sunlight was visable (ish) so to the fields I went.

The first thing I noticed about 500m from the house was that there were a veritable fuckton of lithics scattered across the ground.

Im not actually entireley sure what I find sadder:

a) that I was genuinley excited by this
b) that I was looking at the ground hard enough to find them in the first place

The truth is that both are pretty sad, and probably attributable to the month spent in Egypt staring at the ground day in and out looking for lithics. This is all probably part of Dr. Evils malicious plan to brainwash us into artefact slaves for the rest of our lives...

And yes. I can confirm that this brainwashing is working.

The flakes were all located at the edges of the field and looked as though they had been ploughed there over some time, a cursory walk through the fields showed that there was indeed alot of these flakes and cores in isolated pockets, with the stuff at the edges most likely being pushed there later. After some more background research it turns out that theres the main neolithic quarry for flint about 2k away, and that the raw material from this area is pretty similar, if not a direct match.

Sadly I am now genuinley intrested in lithics and as such I collected a number of examples and am going about mapping where these were found in the fields.

Just when you thought this couldnt get any worse... BAM...

On my return journey I discovered a large hole in the ground, about 50m out the back of our place which had orange pottery in the bottom and also two small pipes. The house which I live in presently is an old converted 15th through till 18th century threshing house, and the remains out the back appear to be part if a courtyard which joined the threshing house to the main cavenham house, which apparently burnt down sometime at the end of the 19th century.

So yes. Amazing to be in a place where archaeology is quite literally all around :3

Team aquired. Go time bitchez.

Oh yes. Oh yes indeed.

So. Trialled as demoman for a div 6 team. This in itself is not noteworthy. However, I have never played demo in 6s.

Two things became immediately apparent about div 6 in ETF2L.

1) I cant roll out
2) Neither can any other demos

I managed to fail quite literally every jump and arrive at mid at some kind of sub-glacial pace and remarkably the other demo was slower... How? I could have walked to mid faster than I jumped.

Is this some kind of next level strategy? The delayed glacial rollout?

Is it some kind of elaborate mind game?

Are they stopping to have cups of tea?

I dont even.

The next thing that I discovered is that whilst I am a truly awful demoman, most of the populous of div 6 is infinitley more stupid than I am bad.

Most of the scouts employed the wild +w tactic, and even my wildly off target pipes have a hard time not connecting with a target running in a straight line, directly from the front. Stomped idiot.

There is also some kind of fascination with everyone walking through one choke point. And dying to the same blatantly obvious sticky-trap. Not just once, not even twice, but three rounds in a row. How? Why? Do you hate life? Ya havin a giggle m8?

Whilst initially horrified by the terrible level of play, I found that even as a no xp demo who cant roll out, I have the ability to leap round the map, play like a ballet dancer on crack and generally not give a fuck. That whilst I killed myself twice on my own devious sticky traps, I managed to top-frag for the vast majority of games. I dont even.

I feel genuinley satisfied in yelling de_stroyed idiot into the mic repeatedly, because many of the inhabitants of this division truly are idiots and really did just get destroyed. I am genuinely excited to play with this new team. On this unwieldily class of doom. Safe in the knowledge that being atrociously bad is a requirement of this division and that wild plays are rewarded with clown_downs.

I think im gonna love this division. Oh yes. Oh yes indeed.

Happy New Year - Kiwis and Auzzies!!

happy new year to all you crazy cats back home :3

This year with yall has been outstanding.

There have been bad times, for sure, probably more than our fair share in some cases, but even so, I count this last year as one of my favourites.

So many amazing memories. So many good times with old friends. So many new amazing people.

hope you all had an amazing night, I had a drink to yall during the day like the recovering alcaholic that I am :3

My resolution to you all is that I will keep in contact and that we will continue to have amazing times!

Looking forward to skype drinking. Phonecalls. And 500 ping TF2.

So happy new year nerds, heres to an amazing 2013.